Yesterday I was deep in a funk, and didn't really move off the couch. That is not how I want to live my life- feeling crappy for myself, ignoring chores, being sedentary, and wasting a day. I was so consumed by the funk, I didn't even realize something was wrong with me until today. I didn't have the energy to do anything- dishes sat in the sink, this blog went un-updated, it even hurt to lie on the couch.
I slept in late today, woke up, and DECIDED to make today different. I forced myself to get out of the house, I walked 1.5 miles (one way) to Starbucks, got coffee, and by the time I was 1/2 way through drinking it, I suddenly felt normal again. I don't know if it was the exercise, the fresh air, the coffee, or the texting with great friends I was engaged in, but its like a switch flipped, and I was better. I took myself across the street to Goodwill for some retail bargain hunting, and found 2 skirts and a sweater for under $20!
My life is what I make of it. If there is something that I don't like, I'm going to work to fix it. Even if I have to fake excitement, or push myself to do something I don't want to do, I refuse to let myself feel sorry for myself on a couch watching Grey's Anatomy re-runs for an entire day ever again. (Unless I'm hungover, ran a marathon the day before, or completed some other feat of greatness in productivity that warrants a day of absolutely nothing.)
The funny thing is, I love my life. Yesterday was some crazy anomaly, might be the weather, or maybe I just needed a mental day off. Perhaps this is what people mean when they say they "feel their feelings" instead of numbing them with food. Come to think of it, I did used to spend many weekends baking and eating things, now that's not an option, so whatever is going on I feel it full force. Hmm. I'm going to have to take a few days to think about that and work on that theory.
Meanwhile, the bottom line is I'm better today.
Just found your blog. Good for you! Looking forward to reading more posts about your journey.
ReplyDelete