Yesterday I was deep in a funk, and didn't really move off the couch. That is not how I want to live my life- feeling crappy for myself, ignoring chores, being sedentary, and wasting a day. I was so consumed by the funk, I didn't even realize something was wrong with me until today. I didn't have the energy to do anything- dishes sat in the sink, this blog went un-updated, it even hurt to lie on the couch.
I slept in late today, woke up, and DECIDED to make today different. I forced myself to get out of the house, I walked 1.5 miles (one way) to Starbucks, got coffee, and by the time I was 1/2 way through drinking it, I suddenly felt normal again. I don't know if it was the exercise, the fresh air, the coffee, or the texting with great friends I was engaged in, but its like a switch flipped, and I was better. I took myself across the street to Goodwill for some retail bargain hunting, and found 2 skirts and a sweater for under $20!
My life is what I make of it. If there is something that I don't like, I'm going to work to fix it. Even if I have to fake excitement, or push myself to do something I don't want to do, I refuse to let myself feel sorry for myself on a couch watching Grey's Anatomy re-runs for an entire day ever again. (Unless I'm hungover, ran a marathon the day before, or completed some other feat of greatness in productivity that warrants a day of absolutely nothing.)
The funny thing is, I love my life. Yesterday was some crazy anomaly, might be the weather, or maybe I just needed a mental day off. Perhaps this is what people mean when they say they "feel their feelings" instead of numbing them with food. Come to think of it, I did used to spend many weekends baking and eating things, now that's not an option, so whatever is going on I feel it full force. Hmm. I'm going to have to take a few days to think about that and work on that theory.
Meanwhile, the bottom line is I'm better today.