Thursday, July 11, 2013

All Good Things...

Recently it has dawned on, dawned is not the right word...recently it has been freaking me out that this pregnancy is going to come to an end soon.  I never thought I would like being pregnant.  I just assumed it would be months of sickness, followed by months of getting larger, and ending with me being really awkward and uncomfortable until 'show time.'  I never gave much thought to the whole 'after' part of being pregnant, the part where you are in charge of an entire human and its well being.  Now that I realize the 'after' part is coming very quickly, I also realize that means my pregnancy is coming to an end, and I don't want it to! 
My wardrobe is so comfortable, I wear nothing but maxi-dresses, leggings, and jeans that have no buttons or zippers.  Sweets currently have no pull on me.  Fruit is like the best thing in the world.  I wake up smiling everyday.  I am so entertained by the little kicks and bumps inside my stomach, and even more entertained now that I can see them on the outside too.  Food tastes so good.  I've been able to keep up my regular gym/activity schedule with few modifications.  Strangers smile at me.  People are nicer to me in general.  I don't feel weird going to bed at 8:30p everynight.  My dreams are amazing.  My nails are the longest and strongest they've ever been.  My skin is clear and glowy.  I haven't had a need for a femine product in 7 months.  People share more information with me, and it has brought me closer to many friends.
I suppose there are a few things I miss- I haven't set foot into Banana Republic in 7 months.  I saw a girl on the street yesterday in a super cute outfit, and missed regular shopping.  Instead of missing my collarbone, I miss being able to else.  I also miss striving for more in my workouts, currently I'm just trying to maintain my fitness.  I miss having goals, like getting a pull-up!  Fitness goals are hold for a little bit.   
All in all, that's a pretty short list of things to miss about non-pregnancy, however, my gym and my activities at the gym are so important to me, so I really am excited to get back to those in an uninhibited way.  I'm pretty confident that my desire to remain pregnant stems from fears I have about raising a little one.  Sure, I can joke about things that bother me as I did in yesterday's post, but in reality, a baby is so scary to me.
I've never changed a diaper.  I was never big on babysitting.  I'm the youngest.  Only recently (in the past 2 years) I've held a kid or two that can't hold its own head up.  What am I going to do when I have one of my own?!  I don't believe that it is all instinct.  There has to be some learning curve.  I'm sure I'll mess up, a lot.  So, yeah, you can say I'm freaking out.  However, I'm very lucky to have a few close friends that have taken this trip before me, and they have been an immense help.  They have been very open with their stories and lessons learned, and I know they will help me through any challenges I face. 
Enough of that for now.  I'm going to continue to rest stuff on my belly-shelf, feel like a goddess in my maxi dress, and smile at nothing.  Being pregnant is great. 

Wednesday, July 10, 2013

Heightened Awareness

Ever since becoming pregnant, I see babies and pregnant ladies everywhere.  Not sure if there were always this many floating around, or if all of a sudden they came out of the woodwork once I announced my pregnancy?  Yes.  That seems likely. 
I've also been noticing parents in public and parent friends of mine, as far as how they interact and react to their children.  I see a lot of what I DO NOT want to do.  For example:
- Being completely engrossed in my cell phone while my child plays/wants attention from me
- Giving my child my cell phone (or their own?!) to keep busy while adults finish dinner at a restaurant
- Try to reason with them when they are having a fit
- Allowing them to throw a fit in a public place for longer than it takes to remove them from said place (Target, grocery store, restaurant, etc.) 
- Constantly comparing my kid to other kids as if my kid was the first ever to poop, cry, smile, walk, whatever
- Say one thing, do another
- Become completely consumed with my child so that I am incapable of focusing on or doing anything else, and unaware of how stressful and suffocating that must be for the kid
Of course, I have also seen many things other parents do that I absolutely want to do:
- Take walks as a family
- Wear baby on either parent as often as needed
- Breastfeed whenever needed (including in public, with appropriate cover up)
- Say no to my kid
- Be relaxed about my childs wellbeing and allow others to hold him/her, feed him/her, etc. 
- Be thankful for any help I get with my childs care, and not critique it
- Take everything as it comes, and try to not get hung up on preconceived ideas of child rearing if they don't work for us
- Make time for ME
- Make time for me and husband
- Remember that not everyone feels the same way about my kid as I do (some people don't like kids)
- Laugh together as often as possible
- Remember that growth and struggle for baby is growth for mama
I know it's easy to type this stuff out now without a zillion hormones raging through my body, or the feelings of unending love for my child have kicked in.  My intent is to get this stuff out there, so I can come back in a few months an remind myself of my pre-child thoughts.  Of course I know many of my "do nots" I could end up doing, as I discover what exactly leads to doing those things. 
My biggest hope for us as parents is that we can be easy going and not stressed out over every little thing.  I know, easier said than done, especially for first time parents.  I also want to remind myself that babies are very resilient, moms are very resilient, and everything will work out.  It always does. 

Friday, July 5, 2013

The GD test

Monday marked a big milestone in my pregnancy, 28 weeks, and coincidentally my 3-hour glucose tolerance test.  I had a lot of mixed feelings about this test, some of them stemming from my own fears and others from the word on the street of high rates of false positives, test inaccuracy, etc. 
Being overweight the majority of my life, these types of tests tend to freak me out.  I mean, if you look at me, I might seem like a likely candidate for someone with pre-diabetes.  Certainly now pregnant, I might look like a case of gestational diabetes (GD) waiting to happen.  I'm nearly positive that is why my midwife chose to skip the 1-hour screening test altogether and just send me in for the 3-hour test.  "That way, we will know.  You'll either have it, or you won't."  Talk about pressure! 
The test consists of arriving at the lab/blood draw clinic after being fasted for 8-10 hours. My blood was drawn to test my fasting glucose level, and then I was given a oh, so syrupy sweet giant bottle (12oz? 14oz?) of lemon-lime flavored "drink" to consume in 5 minutes.  I'm a slow drinker to begin with, and this stuff was like sludge going down my throat.  It might have been better over ice, or if I could sip water in between.  I got it down, and then I had to wait an hour before my next blood draw.  Immediately I sucked down water and soon enough my stomach was pretty acidy feeling with all the additional fluids.  My blood was drawn again, and then I had another hour to wait before my last blood draw.  During this hour I drank water and paced up and down the halls of the office because I was bored and the magazine selection sucked.  After my last blood draw I raced out of the office and immediately downed some toasted coconut before arriving at my office and eating some chicken sausages.  Next up, waiting for the results. 
So, the few issues I have with the test are that for me, its a pretty unreal situation.  As far as, I can't think of a time where I would just willing ingest 75g of straight glucose in 5 minutes.  I mentioned this to the lady taking my blood, and her response?  "Oh, its really not that hard to do, its like eating 2 candy bars, one after the other."  Me- blank stare.  Clearly this was not the right audience for a discussion about the flaws of the test.  Also, even if one was to ingest 2 candy bars in a row, there is other stuff in the bars that slows the absorption of sugar, and just being in food rather than liquid form, your body metabloizes it differently.  So, back to my original statement, its a pretty unreal situation.  I was also worried about possible artificial ingredients in the drink, as I had seen some were bright orange colored or red colored.  Luckily, I didn't get a choice, but my lemon-lime drink was clear. 
Once the test was over, I just quit thinking about it.  I sort of made peace inside my head by thinking of all the things I do right in my current lifestyle.  I lift weights.  Heavy weights.  A lot.  I walk a lot.  I don't eat a standard american diet filled with easy carbohydrates and processed crap.  I consume tons of healthy fats (fermented cod liver oil =gold!) and I can go relatively long periods of time between eating without wanting to rip someones head off.  Deep down, it was settled for me.  I was not going to have a positive result, despite always having carried around a few-many extra pounds. 
The day following the test I was traveling for work and received a voicemail from my midwives office when I returned to cell service.  "Just letting you know the results of your glucose test- your blood sugars look great, you don't have GD.  Also, your iron levels look great, see you in 2 weeks for your scheduled appointment."  As much as I knew deep down I wasn't going to have it, I was SO RELIEVED because there is always that "what if?" factor.  As my good friend told me, I essentially have a parasite living in me.  A parasite that is changing my body, my hormones, and taking whatever it wants from me.  My parasite could alter stuff enough to kick me into GD territory, but luckily that doesn't appear to be the case.  Bring on the candy bars!  (kidding)
Now I'm officially in my 3rd trimester.  I can't beleive in 2ish months our family of 2 will become 3.  My thoughts now settle around having a healthy baby, and not being crazy parents.  Separate post to follow regarding crazy parents- what is a crazy parent, what makes parents crazy, things I hope to avoid, etc.