24 Weeks, 34, and New Perspectives

Happy Birthday to me.  Thirty-four years old, and 24 weeks pregnant.  I kinda wish those numbers were flip-flopped.  Except for the part about me having a baby at 24.  Yeesh.  I was in no condition to have a baby at 24, so maybe we better leave those numbers where they are. 

 

I can see now why this great universe of ours gives us 10 months of pregnancy.  Through the advice I've received (solicited and unsolicited), talks with my midwife, watching friends finish their pregnancies, and my own research in the past 24 weeks, so many of my perspectives on pregnancy, birth, and raising a child have changed. 

 

I spent the first few weeks of my pregnancy obsessed with birth.  Reading about birth, watching videos, asking people about their birth stories in an attempt to figure out the exact birth I wanted.  At some point I came across a piece of advice, and consequently, my intensity surrounding my birth ceased- "birth is one (maybe two) days.  The important thing is to focus on the 18+ years that follow that day."  Right?  I mean, I was spending a lot of time focusing on this event, and in reality, there are so many other things that came along with a newborn.  I began broadening my research to include sleep training techniques, breastfeeding, and general baby- raising things.

 

Recently 2 good friends of mine have had their pregnancies come to an end, and the next chapter of newborn alien invasion has begun.  I think I have learned so much from their experiences, and I'm so grateful to have such wonderful friends tell me things that only one pregnant person can tell another pregnant person.  I've enjoyed the days leading up to their births, their birth stories, and the days immediately after birth immensley.  Once again, I had a huge shift in my thinking regarding birth, and coincidentally came across a great piece of advice in the current book I'm reading.  "You may not have the birth you want, but you will have the birth that you need."  Isn't that true of everything in life though?  When I think back on my life, all the times I have thought I wanted something, or even pushed for something only to have it backfire or not workout, whatever took its place ended up being exactly what I needed. 

 

Today, I'm taking comfort in the fact that I feel amazing these days, and whatever needs to happen will happen.  I've been sleeping well.  My workouts have been great, and making me feel great (155# front squats the other day for dayz made my hips/back/core feel amazing!).  I've been eating such good food, and my general disposition/mood is sunny.  (that might make some people that know me irl laff a little).  But seriously, it is true what they say about the 2nd trimester- it is the golden phase of pregnancy.   

Pregnant Ramblings

It's no surprise that after a few weeks of cleaning up my eating, I'm feeling pretty damn good. My nighttime heartburn episodes are a memory. Even in pregnancy my body does not like too many refined carbohydrates. It is a slight mind fu*k to watch my belly grow at what seems to me a super fast pace, yet not have the scale move. My only slight discomfort now is round ligament pain in my groin area, which is crazy because the ONLY time it hurts is when I'm rolling over from one side to the other, and when I'm picking up my legs one at a time to put on pants/leggings/skirts. It feels like I'm super sore from a workout, but when I do things like squat, or stretch my inner thighs, to try and loosen up the feeling, I can't get the discomfort to be there. It's hard to explain, but I did some googling (I know, I know) and it sounds like its pretty common for this exact time in my pregnancy, and it doesn't go away till after birth. Yay!

We did the obligatory grilling over Memorial Day weekend- chicken fajitas. Grilled chicken breast, grilled peppers/onions served on lettuce leaves with guacamole, fruit for dessert. So easy. So satisfying. So real. Just for fun, let's count the ingredients in the entire meal (not counting ingredients used twice, like salt and lime)- chicken, lime, olive oil, salt, pepper, orange and green peppers, onion, lettuce, avocado, tomato, jalepeno, pineapple, melon, strawberries. 15 total ingredients for an entire dinner and dessert. Count those ingredients on that "SmartOne" that is soooo healthy and low calorie. Yeah, that's what I thought.

It sucks that I spent so many years making this eating right thing more complicated than it had to be. I just didn't know any better. I fell for any buzz word at the time. Low-calorie? I can eat ALL the things. Low-fat? Sounds logical! High in fiber? Yes! I'll poop it out! Vegetarian? I'll try it! Gluten-free? Sounds legit. Oh, extra protein? That'll make my fat turn to muscle immediately. Sigh. Meat, vegetables, fruit, naturally occurring fats (nuts, avocado, coconut, heavy cream, olive oil). Also known as, real food. Yes, it means more preparation on my part. Yes, it means many convenience foods are a thing of the past. But the feeling? The lack of being controlled by food? Can't be beat.

This pregnancy seems to be zooming by sooo fast. I can't believe I have roughly 17 weeks left. That just seems like no time at all. I completed a registry over the weekend, wow, that was rough for me. I mean, I don't want our house to become swamped with baby stuff. I don't even want my kid to have a lot of toys (really, how many can they play with at once?). So I tried to just think of the absolute necessites. And even that was sooo much. I do think it helps not finding out the sex of our baby, because that helps stay away from accumulating too much stuff in general. Who knows. I might be in denial, in one year I could be laughing at my current naivete as I stare at my living room littered with multi-colored plastic things listening to "the wiggles." Barf.

Ok, I think this post is sufficiently representative of my brain right now- all over the place. I've got a hot gym date to head to (400m of walking lunges are on the agenda) and then some meat and vegetables to consume. Make today awesome, I plan on it.

Whole147

Let's talk pregnancy nutrition. Well over a year ago, I stumbled across this blog post (apologies if the link doesn't link, blogging from phone. Copy & paste, its worth it):
http://hawaiianlibertarian.blogspot.com/2011/05/paleo-baby.html
and was truly inspired. I think he does a really good job of explaining things that stand out to him that could be attributed to the diet he feeds his baby, without sounding self-righteous. He is well aware that the experience he is having maybe unique, but still decided to share in case anyone was curious.

I mentioned in an earlier post that upon first discovering I was pregnant, I began eating like rock star. My nutrients were spot on, and I was feeling great. Until I wasn't. Hormones began doing their thing, and I was suddenly so tired, nauseous, and/or puking. Luckily for me, that stage only lasted 3-4 weeks. Unfortunately for me, 3-4 weeks of soothing myself with food turned into many more weeks of half-hearted good eating (but still killing it at the gym!). I knew I needed to get back to what I know. I knew I was not feeling my best. I knew that if I continued down that road I would end up with A LOT of post-baby weight to lose. Around week 19, (or May 1st) I threw the brakes on. I decided I needed to go back and do a Whole30 to 'reset' and get my head (and body) back in the game.

It was getting too easy for me to justify things just because I was pregnant. I know myself, I know I need routine, structure, and a plan. I also know I'm perfectly capable of all these things. However, in the back of my head I kept telling myself that I was supposed to be gaining weight, and that my baby needed a few extra calories (yeah, like some extra protein, not sweet potato fries). But deep down, I knew I was slipping back into familiar patterns and making poor choices using the baby as a crutch. Yesterday, and my regular midwife check up, I had a long discussion with her about my feelings on gaining weight and struggles I've had. She was so incredible. She confirmed that a "whole30" diet is perfectly nutritious, AND that honestly, the current weight I'm at is fine to support a baby and if I didn't gain another pound over the next 18-19 weeks it would be just fine. I felt so relieved. Full disclosure, I have gained 17 pounds so far with my sub-par eating. I'd like to keep my gain in the 20-25lb range since I had plenty of pounds to lose at the start of this whole deal. I must remind myself, the less weight I gain, the less I will have to lose.

So, my goal is to follow the Whole30 guidelines (with grass-fed butter) until the bitter end, or roughly 147 days (133 left). However, the day I go into labor, I'm having an effing glass of wine.

My day(s) now look similar to this:
2 chicken sausages
1 granny smith apple w/ 2tbsps almond butter
CrossFit workout- scaled for momma
6oz turkey taco meat, braised cabbage, few baby carrots, few strawberries
sweet potato w/ Kerrygold butter, 6oz turkey taco meat, veggies, 1/2 avocado

The protein switches out between whatever I have cooked off. Sometimes its pork shoulder, sometimes its straight chicken breasts, sometimes chicken thighs, you get the idea. The veggies rotate between what's on sale, and what sounds good to me. So far in this pregnancy I've had a tough time with vegetables, but I'm really trying to get them in. I'm loving apples and almond butter right now, as well as yams, so those aren't going anywhere for awhile.

Some other good resources on pregnancy nutrition I've been following:
Peggy at Primal Parent- http://theprimalparent.com/
Weston A. Price Foundation- http://www.westonaprice.org/

Not Alone

Before I get to my real post, I just want to say a few quick words about the 'Sh*t Moms Say to Their Pregnant Daughters' post. Thank you for all the comments. My mom is my mom, and I know she means well (in some twisted universe where its always opposite day) and I'm used to it. The post was meant to be funny, but I'm not sure it came across that way. I don't want to bash my mom, she is an amazing woman that has had a tough life, and accomplished so much. Luckily, I've got plenty of smartz running through my head that I can see her comments for what they are- her issue(s) and not internalize them anymore. Now, I just like to share them with people for their sheer ridiculousness, oh, and also to remind myself of what NOT to do in the next coming years.


...Sunday we were invited to a Cinco de Mayo party/BBQ. It was an AMAZING day in Seattle, upper 70's, light breeze, just a perfect day. The hubs got home from work around 3:30p, and we headed over around 5pm. It was a BBQ held by friends/co-workers of my husband. Being a Sunday night, and also me being an 'outsider' non-co-worker I didn't plan on staying super late. I ate my bun-less burger and grazed on some raw veggies. We brought our dog, so watching him gave me plenty to do as he made his begging rounds and I yelled at him to quit it. There is nothing more annoying than a dog owner that thinks everyone else feels the same way about their dog as they do. No one likes a dog begging while they eat, even the cutest dog on the planet. I digress.

Many of the hubs co-workers came over to wish us congratulations, and ask us all the typical questions. I was enjoying myself, but noticed the party was slowly starting to get more drunk, and the daylight was quickly fading. I asked the hubs what time it was, and he said "just about 9p." "Crap. I gotta go." I said. The hubs wanted to stay longer since he didn't work the next day, and would take a cab home later. I grabbed the dog, said bye to the few people I knew, and headed home. The BBQ was really close to our house, only one freeway exit away. I hopped on the I-5, with the last rays of light on the horizon and the top of the sky starting to darken. The windows in the car were down, and the air smelled so clean. Just as I approached my exit, I felt something. A slight twitch or like a little bubble popping in my stomach. I knew exactly what it was.

Immediately everything was so clear. I didn't just know I wasn't alone, I felt I wasn't alone. I mean, so many times in my life I have been driving to my house, by myself, comfortable with being alone, and this time it was different. My future flashed before my eyes and I knew that I would never be truly alone again. This thing, this bubble, was going to be a part of me for the rest of my life. I was in awe and oddly comforted at that moment as I let it all sink in. Just when I thought I might have been imagining things, almost as if on queue, I felt another little tap inside my belly. Yup. Not alone.

Sh*t Moms Say to Their Pregnant Daughters

"It would be nice if some of your weight turned into the baby's weight"
"No, you don't have to name it after me. Unless you want...you know, its up to you."
"I hope this baby gives you all the headaches you gave me."
"So, have you thought about how much weight you want to gain during your pregnancy?"
"You're going to have to give your dog away"
"I've got some of my old clothes that are too big for me for you to go through, you know, so you don't have to buy maternity clothes."
To her friends/strangers while I'm standing right there "yeah, she THINKS she's going to have a natural birth- chuckle- we'll see..."
"I only gained 18 pounds when I was pregnant the first time."
"I don't want to be called grandma."

Lastly, to put the cherry on top of the cake, here is a gem of a story that a mom might tell her pregnant daughter:

"So, I'm going to tell you something, take from it whatever you want." Oh, great I think, here comes another lecture about my weight. "I was having tea with my yoga instructor last week, and she..." Oh, no, I was wrong I think, here comes a plug for doing yoga while pregnant. "She has a daughter who pretty much has a parallel life to yours, she was living in the Pacfic Northwest 3 years ago, got married to a chef 2 years ago, about a year before you did. They had a baby about a year after that. See? Just like you, but a year ahead. Her and her husband moved down to Napa after the baby so they could be closer to family." (slight guilt stab there if you know my mom) "They like to garden, and be in the yard and stuff. My yoga teacher watches the grandson 2-3 times a week. One day, she (yoga teacher/grandma) was watching the baby who was about 3 months old and the baby just went limp. She knew something wasn't right and they took the baby to the hospital. They ran a bunch of tests, and nothing came up. The baby seemed to return to normal, so they were sent home. A few days later, the daughter was with her son, and the same thing happened. The baby just went limp. This time, the baby was sent to a larger hospital so more intesive studies could be ran. After a bunch of tests, they discovered the baby had contracted infant botulism. The baby had to be given a blood transfusion, and it was all very expensive and scary- costing tens of thousands of dollars. So, you know, just watch out for that. The baby was like 3 months."

This is 1) a true story, and 2) true that my mom TOLD me this story. Maybe its just me, but WTF. Why would you ever relay this story to your pregnant daughter? Well, I guess with all the previous quotes, it might just be my mom that says this stuff. Anyway, curiosity got the best of me, and I googled infant botulism. Turns out, there are less than 100 cases contracted each year in the U.S. To put that in perspective, my baby is 25 times more likely to die from SIDS than to contract this thing...as if I don't have enough things to worry about!

Increasing the Flock

Literally. That isn't a pregnant metaphor. Over the weekend we got 3 baby chicks to add to our 2 full grown egg laying (well, in theory) ladies. I can't exactly pinpoint when it was that I decided backyard chickens were something I wanted, but I can say that for me, there is no going back. Getting chickens has been such a fun experience. They truly make our house a home, and I never get tired of looking out the kitchen window and seeing the ladies picking at grass or chasing bugs around.

Two years ago, we got 5 baby chicks, raised them in a giant tupperware storage bin, aka, brooder. I bought a book, consulted with some friends, and took the plunge. The first few days were harrowing to say the least. If I didn't hear any peeps for awhile, I would run into the laundry room, only to see all of them flat out on their faces asleep. Likewise, if I heard one peeping loudly a whole bunch I would run in there, check the temperature, and talk to them. Luckily, we did not have any issues raising the little ones, except for one turning out to be a rooster, which we just gave to a friend with land.

Our four ladies began laying eggs nearly 4 months to the date after getting them, and we enjoyed their bounty for well over a year before the raccoon incident. Six months ago, we lost 2 of our chickens to neighborhood raccoons. Luckily we never heard a sound in the middle of the night, and my husband noticed what had happened right away and cleaned up the feathers strewn about so I was none the wiser until two days later, when he told me. Since the raccoon incident, the two remaining ladies have been a nice team, but no eggs have been laid. We think they might have been traumatized. :(

A few weeks ago I noticed the feed store started advertising chicks, and I got really excited. The hubs said he would dig out all the brooding stuff (feeder, waterer, heat lamp, tupperware, etc.) and get it all ready so we could pick up some chicks. We also needed chicken feed for the older girls, so we decided to just make one trip to the store. Last Thursday was supposed to be the day, but when I arrived home, I found a BBQ going on taking advantage of our rare 70 degree day. In the PNW, you just can't take those days for granted. So, on Saturday, the hubs bolted up out of bed and exclaimed we were out of chicken feed. I was like, "ok, we'll go on Wednesday." I needed a few days to mentally prepare, and we needed to round up all the stuff. "No, there's no time like the present." We had about 1.5 hours until hubs had to be at work, so we rushed out of the house and to the feed store. We picked up our feed and 3 new chicks. When we got home, we frantically ran around getting everything together. I washed out the big bin in the tub, the hubs found the heat lamp (the most important thing) and the feeder, etc. We set up the bin with some pine chips, turned on the heat lamp, put the new ladies in their home, and called it good. The hubs left for work a few minutes late, and I realized I hadn't eaten anything yet. I still was distracted by getting the girls settled in, so forgot about it. After about 30 minutes, I checked the temperature in the brooder to make sure it was at 90 degrees, and could raise or lower the lamp if needed. Temperature was good, girls were sleeping, and I went on about my Saturday.

After doing a few chores, I went to stick my head in the laundry room, and I noticed before I got there that it was not glowing red. I walked in and the heat light was out. Explative, explative, explative. The hubs was at work, I had no car, and I needed to keep the chicks warm. I immediately thought of the hardware store 2 miles away at the bottom of a huge hill, and called them to see if they had chicken supplies/specifically a heat bulb. They did. Meanwhile, I somehow found an old 60w incandescent bulb in our house, which is nuts because we switched to flourecents years ago, and put that in the lamp and lowered it a bit. I ran around getting all my bike stuff ready to bike down to the hardware store and also to give it a few minutes to see if the regular light bulb would be a temporary fix. The regular bulb, albeit bright was providing sufficient heat and the chicks didn't seem to mind. I hopped on my bike and coasted down to the store, picked up the bulb, and then got ready to bike the 2 miles back uphill. It was then I realized I still hadn't eaten. Oh, well. Gotta save the chicks! The round trip journey took me about 40 minutes, and a major crisis was averted!

Biking up that hill made me really appreciate my body and all its capable of. Sadly, there have been times in my life that this little mishap would have been much more difficult (even impossible?) due to how out of shape I've been. In the past, I might have just started calling friends to drive me rather than immediately just hopping on my bike. It was a good reminder that the time I spend everyday at the gym is worth it, because you never know when you are going to need a little endurance to save 3 lives. :)

Prego Dreams

Pregnant dreams are crazy. I've been enjoying these vivid stories pretty much since before I knew knew that I was pregnant- it was one of the many little things that tipped me off. Last night was particularly funny/memorable to me.

The husband and I were at the Facebook headquarters for some reason, I think maybe just as tourists because in my dream the building was this crazy enclosed atrium with a food court. We were sitting in the food court, and I looked over and saw "The Facebook Cafe" written in all the FB colors and fonts and stuff. After I bit, I noticed everyone coming away from the cafe with hotdogs. This made me really want a hotdog. So the hubs and I went up to the counter and were looking at the menu. I declared I wanted a FB hotdog (that was the menu name) and apparently they were special somehow. The hubs told me "no." He said I could not have a hotdog while pregnant. I looked at the other menu items, and the only other thing on the menu was waffles. Hotdogs and waffles. I didn't want a waffle because I haven't been wanting any sweets lately.

I proceeded to throw a fit in front of my husband, to which he reached out, touched my stomach and told me to calm down. "We can go outside to the waterfront and get whatever you want." So then we walked outside to some brick facaded waterfront in some undeterminable city searching for a more appropriate restaurant for a pregnant woman.

This dream cracks me up. But most memorable is how easily and completely my husband was able to calm me in the midst of my "me pregnant want food" fit. Also, who knew that FB was so into hotdogs and waffles?

Lately our workouts at CrossFit have been on the short side, but involving heavy lifting. One particular trainer is very keen on "adding a little bonus" to whatever the written workout is, so we go in there thinking that we are going to be doing one thing, and then at the end the trainer announces MORE stuff we have to do. I have a love/hate relationship with this type of training. I like to know what I'm getting into ahead of time, yet at the same time, its good for me to be pushed outside of my comfort zone. I'm still trying to do as much as possible at the gym, just using lower weights then I might normally use, and taking more frequent breaks. I was pretty excited yesterday to accidentally hit a PR with my military press. I certainly wasn't trying for a PR, but looking back over my notes, the last time I tried for a 5 rep max military press, I got 75#, and yesterday I did 80# for 5!
I gotta keep the arm strength up for carrying around the little squirt.