Friday, August 31, 2012

Even MORE Tips for Success

I'm flattered by how many people appreciated and commented on yesterday's post. Of course, in typical fashion of myself, I thought of MORE things I would like to rant about/share after hitting publish. So, here we go- a follow up post with even more tips for success/pet peeves.

I know sarcasm doesn't come across too well in print. So I just want to say for those that don't know me, I'm very sarcastic, and as much as I think I'm right, these tips are just as much for me as they are for the people stuck on a merry-go-round. I can name every friggin' horse on the carousel, I've been there so many times myself. But, I have learned something new each lap on that carousel.

1) Stop comparing yourself to others, on all fronts (I know sizing up other girls is practically like breathing for women. The sooner you stop, the better your life will be). Every single person has strengths and weaknesses. When you compare yourself to others, you run the risk on comparing your weakness to someone's strength. In layman's terms, we call this comparing apples to oranges. It just doesn't work. Don't do it. Compare apples to apples, by comparing yourself to you and only you. Be the best YOU that you've ever been. What's that? A month ago you could only do 5 push-ups on your toes, now you can do 20?!?!? That is what I'm talking about.

2) Do not fear fat. Eat fat. Eat as much fat as your heart desires! Fat is satiating, necessary, and contrary to popular opinions, it does not make you fat. You know what makes you fat? Sugar. Limit sugar by all means necessary. When you can eat things like bacon and avocado for breakfast who the hell needs crap like 'Fiber One' cereal? If you are having issues pooping, check out your fat intake, I would bet a serious amount of money that you aren't eating enough. Take 3 fish oil capsules, eat 1/2 an avocado, and call me in the morning.

3) FISH OIL. As far as I'm concerned, this stuff is miracle juice. Quality is of the utmost importance here. Down anywhere from 3-5g GRAMS/day depending on how deficient in Omega-3s you feel you are. Eventually, as you change the ratio of Omega-3's to Omega-6's in your body, you can ease up on the fish oil. If I lost you at Omega-3 and Omega 6, do some research on the subject. Then proceed to eat grass fed meats, pasture eggs, salmon, and FISH OIL. If you don't get sore after workouts that you should get sore after, you are ingesting enough fish oil.

4) Teach by example. Do not say one thing and do another. Stop feeding your kids junk. Believe it or not, your kids are not listening to what you say. They are watching what you do. This means, if you go on random "health kicks" and throw all of the junk food out of the house and eat lettuce and ice cubes for a week only to drive to a fast food restaurant at the end of that week and proceed to eat (and let your kid eat) anything and everything you want, your kids are not going to get the eat healthy message. Weird, huh? I can't believe how many bloggers I read that are "eating so clean" and then they go out and give their kids donuts!!!! Do you want your kids to pick up the same bad habits as you? Food as a reward, food as enjoyment, etc. Food is fuel. You want to get the most nutrients you can out of the things you eat. Tell me, what sort of nutritional value is a donut providing? If you are eating healthy 90% of the time, and active, your kids are going to pick up on that. They will learn to like their vegetables, be active, will probably prefer fruit over a donut eventually, and take that with them into adulthood. That doesn't mean skip making them a cake on their birthday. A birthday is a once a year event. Once a year. Smell what I'm stepping in?
4b) Same thing goes for friends/co-workers etc. Do not go blasting around what your current "plan" is. Just do it, and if you are successful and a good example to your body, others will take notice and want to know exactly what you are doing. When someone ASKS you can tell them. Otherwise, no one gives a shit.

5) Those ridiculous 'toning' shoes? Yeah, they don't work. There have even been some pretty famous lawsuits due to the fact that they don't work. See here:

6) Maybe my biggest peeve right now...TONING. THERE IS NO SUCH THING AS TONING. You are losing some of the fat/water barrier between your skin and muscle so your muscles show more. That's it. There is no specific weight room regimen that you should use for "toning." The lower weight for higher reps is bullshit. Women do not get bulky from lifting heavy weights. Women do not have enough testosterone to get the same level of bulk that men do. Really. The women that you see in body building competitions follow a specific diet, lifting, and most likely supplement program, but most of all, they have such a ridiculously low amount of body fat, the muscles they do have show like crazy. They are not "bulky" they just have NO fat.

7) If I had complete control over the world, I would round up all the Brazillian Butt-lift people and Body by Vi people and send them to an island Hunger Games style where the only way for them to get food and water would be to debate the science behind whichever of the above methods they were a firm (pun intended) believer in. Winner of the debate would be based on the number of actual facts that can be backed up by science, and would get food/water. Of course, this would be televised as enjoyment for all those that know how funny and ironic that would be.

Thursday, August 30, 2012

Tips For Success

Lately, everytime I come here to post I'm torn between writing an upbeat message about my latest success on the eating/gym front or a snarky post about how dumb some "weightloss" bloggers are or how dumb the mainstream health advice is. For the most part the upbeat message wins because I know that being positive is always better than negative, and certainly who am I to criticize how someone chooses to express themselves on their own blog? I also feel that is an inaccurate representation of my personality. I am snarky, and in general I dislike people. Anyone that got here via my comments on Norma's blog know that. I like what I like, and whatever I do is the right way and the only way at that particular moment. I can change what I feel is the right way at any time without any explanation. That is what I honestly think, so there.

So, on that note, I'm going to give some tips for success. Some are what absolutely work for me, some are just general annoyances. Some are snarky. They are all correct.

1) Plan ahead. I can't accomplish anything without a plan. Planning takes the thinking out of things, and makes the doing of things. When I'm without a plan, I start thinking about all the things I COULD be doing, or eating, or whatever, and proceed to do something unproductive towards my personal goals. Fail to plan, plan to fail.

2) Only jump on bandwagons that you have thoroughly researched. If I read about one more person "eating clean" while posting pictures of deli turkey on a sandwich thin and a smear of chemical laden PB, I'm going to lose my shit. Of course everyone is going to have their definition of eating clean. Mine is the right one- eating things in which you can pronouce all the ingredients, things that are exactly what they say they are, things you have made/grown yourself, and/or are a combination of single ingredient items occurring in nature that you made yourself (examples- meat, vegetables, fruit, nuts, certain oils, beans (if you are lectin tolerant), quinoa/oatmeal (if you are grain tolerant) cream/greek yogurt (if you are dairy tolerant), honey (in small, seasonal amounts)). A lot of shit can be made from items that fall into that list. Don't even try to tell me that your "whole wheat wrap with spinach and low-fat cheese" is CLEAN. Or worse yet, your soy products.

3) Stop eating soy as a meat replacement. Its garbage. Asians don't eat a lot of soy, and when they do eat soy, its fermented (such as tempeh, miso, and soy sauce) and used as a condiment. Tofu is not a health food, and here is some further reading on that matter:

4) If you are trying to lose weight, you have to find a tolerable way to eat less calories while getting the maximum amount of nutrients for your body. You know what has a shit ton of nutrients for not a lot of calories? Vegetables. You know what does not? Nearly everything found in the center aisles of the grocery store. Get used to feeling hungry, unsatisfied, grumpy, and like you are missing out. GET OVER IT. Do you want to lose weight or not? You will always get the correct answer, despite what you tell yourself. Chances are the longer you are at it, the missing out/grupiness will subside as you can do things you were previously not able to do. Anything worth having does not come easily.

5) Invest in an Olympic bar and some bumper plates for your home (or join a gym that allows you not only access to these, but doesn't kick you out when you drop a loaded bar on the floor). YouTube the crap out of squats, deadlifts, cleans, and presses. Learn them. Proceed to pick up as much heavy shit as possible. Run sprints. Want that cardio feeling? Check out ZWOW on YouTube. If her body doesn't make you want to do her workouts, nothing will. Remember all those meme's floating around the interwebs a few weeks ago comparing sprinters bodies to marathoner's bodies? Do what you will with that information.

6) Drink water. If you are drinking as much water as you should be, you shouldn't have time to drink more than 1 or 2 "other" drinks (such as coffee, wine, tea, electrolyte drink). Ditch the diet soda/calorie free drinks.

7) Stop running distances longer than 3 miles more than 1-2 times/week unless you are specifically training for an endurance event. Chances are, you hate running, you are forcing yourself to do it, and worst of all, you aren't even training for anything. Running distances is not going to get you in shape. Have you SEEN how many fat people run 5K's? Trust me. Running 4-5 miles is no feat of fitness. Its a feat of stubborness, and most people look dumb doing it. Refer to #5.

8) Take that stupid thing off your arm. Yeah, that idiotic thing that tells you how many calories you have "burned." Its full of shit. Calories in - Calories out is nice in theory, and it even works the first few times you try it. However, if you are anywhere on attempt #5-300 to lose weight, you need better education on what food does to your body, how your body reacts to certain foods, and also how (BIG SHOCK HERE) some food companies actually design their foods to be craved and overeaten by humans (ahem, 100 calorie packs). Recommended reading- Good Calories/Bad Calories (Gary Taubes) and It Starts With Food (Dallas/Melissa Hartwig).

9) Understand that the changes you make need to be permenant changes. Understand that. Do not just regergetate it and say it/type it out, like saying it makes it true. Understand that the changes you make need to be permenant changes. There is no one year of "eating clean" and then easing up. There is no "training for a 1/2 marathon" and then easing up. Understand that the changes you make need to be permenant changes. This also means, be prepared to wait a really long time (years) for your body to transform. If you don't understand that the weight you are losing is most likely water/lean muscle when following a calorie restricition/cardio plan then you are on the road to a regain of at least what you lost and will find yourself back at square one in no time.

10) Do things your way. You will find through trial and error what works for you, and what does not. Remember, these are permenant changes. You will know in short order whether or not you are ready to let go of certain things. Ready= success over time. Not ready= on merry go round.

11) Ignore the haters. If you are follwoing #10, you know what works for you. It doesn't matter what you do, people are ALWAYS going to have an opinion (thats too little food, are you going to eat all that fat? Shouldn't you do cardio? Oh, I could NEVER do that...). Stick to your guns. If whatever you are doing is not working, refer to #1, #2, #3, #4, #5, #6, #7, #8, and #9.

That's all I can think of for now. Whew...that felt good. Now, stop telling yourself lies, and go be AWESOME.

Ending rant with a picture of a typical breakfast for me...protein, veg, healthy fat.

Friday, August 24, 2012

Legitimate Mind Rape

This is not a post about how awesome I've been eating, or how much ass I kicked at the gym today, or how my wedding planning is finally starting to fall into place. All of those are true, but need to be put on the back burner for today while I get this off my chest. I know there are certain topics of conversation that are to be avoided due to the volatility of the subject matter, and therefore have a quick tendency to get people fired up and emotional. I generally try to avoid discussions about religion, politics, and sex when I have an unknown audience present. I'm making an exception today to discuss my concerns over some comments made by potential and/or current political persons that for whatever reason keep getting their crazy ideas/thoughts broadcast on major media forums.

I'm not looking for any fights, I just want to state a few observations:
1) If you are a free thinking, educated woman, there is no way in hell you could support the current republican party.
2) If you are a woman who values her freedom and would like to continue the fight towards gender equity, there is no way in hell you could support the current republican party.
3) If you are a religious, god fearing, moral woman, there is no way in H-E-double hockey sticks you could support the current republican party.
4) If you have a daughter, sister, wife, mother, and you love them, there is no way in hell you could support the current republican party.
5) If you are a woman, and you don't recognize that support of pro-life to the extent of repealing of Roe v. Wade means the government is taking away a major freedom as a citizen in this country, then I have no words for you.

I want to make one thing very clear. I'm not against women that are pro-life when making the decision for THEMSELF. It's your body. What you do with your body is no business of mine. Want to pierce everything and ink it up? Be my guest. Want to eat nothing but twinkies and ding-dongs everyday? Please, feel free. Want to get breast implants or an eye-lift? Sure! Everyone's doing it. What I have a problem with is women suggesting that what they feel, and what they choose to do with their body, is somehow relevant to a woman that is not them. You will never catch me telling Sally down the street that she can't get a tattoo simply because I would never get a tattoo.

But its a LIFE. Or its a fluid sack of rapidly dividing cells. To-MAY-to, To-MAH-to. What that "life" or fluid sack has the ability to do is completely change the actual life of the person supporting it. That change is not something to be taken lightly, and should never be assumed, nor in this day and age should a woman feel burdended by a potential life inside them. Being responsible for the care and well being of another human being is serious stuff. Every single woman in this country should be jumping for joy over the fact that she has access to complete control of whether or not she is ready to be responsible for another human being. Complete control. That is freedom ringing in my ears.

Instead, this freedom is being clouded by politics. How any man feels he has the right to a position on this topic has been beyond me from the time I was old enough to understand that pregnant = problem for women, not man- which was maybe around 8? 9? How the government feels they have a right to allow or disallow this choice is beyond me. The fact that more women aren't outraged by this is even MORE beyond me.

This is a legitimate rape we can stop, legitimate mind rape. Stand up for your rights. Stand up for your choices. Stand up for your freedom.

Back to regularly scheduled programming.

Tuesday, August 21, 2012

If You're Looking for Me...

You can find me on cloud 9. What is cloud 9 anyway? I have no idea. I just know it means that you are happy, elated, ain't-nuthin-gonna-bring-you-down...and that's where I'm at. In the future I'll try to use phrases I know the full meaning of. Like, don't put all your eggs in one basket. I get that one.

So...what has me in such a great mood? A great relief was lifted off my shoulders today after finished my face to face job interview for the position I'm not really experienced enough for, but thought I would try for anyway. I didn't realize how much of my energy had been focused on that until it was over. Also? Fun fact? I totally forgot to wear deodorant today. Of all the days...worst day to forget deordorant ever. I learned from my phone interview last week when I WAS wearing deodorant that I sweat profusely during any sort of questioning regarding my work experience. So yeah, put me in a silk suit with no deodorant in front of my 2 bosses and grand-boss, and yeah...there was some serious sweating going on. By the way, the silk suit I wore today was one my mom got me when I graduated college for interviews, 11 years ago. I believe this is the 2nd interview I've worn it to, mostly because a good 8 of the past 11 years its been too small. Today, I rocked it with a pretty green top underneath. Suits never go out of style.

Ok, besides the 11 year old suit fitting me, and having made it past the initial candidate screening and the phone interview to a face to face interview, I went into the mailroom today, and there was a box for me. I noticed the return address was "Reebok." ERMEHGERD!!!! My custom Rebook CrossFit shoes had arrived. I set the box down in my cube and told myself I would wait till after my interview to open a present. My stomach was doing back flips as I anticipated questions for my upcoming interview. I heard my bosses dissmissing someone, and I poked my head out of my cube to get a look at my "competition." I. WAS. BLOWN. AWAY. What I saw was a girl walking towards the front door with long curly hair and a slightly larger (big boned? heh) frame. Some people that read this will know what that is funny. Anyway...I was surprised that my competition was another female in this VERY male dominated work environment. I think it is absolutely for the best. She was not wearing a suit however...

So, my interview. I was relaxed the majority of the time. There were a few technical questions that I totally bombed, that's where the whole lack of experience thing comes in. I'd say 80% of the interview was positive, and 20% was bombing the technical questions. I'm not a bullsh*tter, so I didn't want to start talking myself into a corner I couldn't get out of. I simply said "I don't know, or I don't have any experience with that." I tried my best to highlight my strengths, and crossed my fingers that my bosses see that my work ethic and potential is there, even though I don't have the experience yet. Luckily, they are familiar with me, and have seen me work for the past 1.75 years to know that when I say I pick up things fast, I'm not lying.

Once interview was over, and I properly retreated to the bathroom to wash/blot my underarms (I might have applied hand sanitizer) a wave of relief swept over me. I was done. I was also shaking with the adreneline release. I pounded water and proceeded to open up my package! My SHOES! OMG, love. They fit amazing, feel amazing, look amazing...and I was about to test them out on one of my favorite workouts. The 22 minute routine. My day just kept getting better.

I crushed the workout. I remember how back in my running days, the first run in new shoes always felt faster, so I'm not sure if that was the case here, but WOW. I used a heavier bar than last time, and had 2 people comment to me after the WOD on how fast I was moving. I'll give credit to the shoes.

The entire office (including mrs. don'twearworkoutclothesintheoffice) is gone this week at a staff meeting. You know what that means? No changing back into my suit. Yeah, I'm still in my workout clothes. Shortly after I returned from the gym, my boss pulled me into his office to say he thought I did an excellent job. I still have to wait 2 weeks until they announce the position, but that was nice of him. He has 3 daughters all around my age, so I think he knows what a big deal this was for me. Even if I don't get offered the spot, I am so happy I tried for it. Although, not getting offered the job does have the potential to kick me off cloud 9 but, not too far, probably only to cloud 8. :)

Tuesday, August 14, 2012

Stress Distraction

I've got so much to do, but instead of doing it, I'm finding 1,000 other things to do...Like write this. Anyone else do that when they are stressed? No? Fu#k.

I finished my workout nearly an hour ago, and I'm still drenched in sweat. I just refueled with a yam, ground turkey with homemade taco seasoning, and roasted broccoli. No, I haven't changed out of my workout clothes yet nosy noserson over there in the front office (long story if you don't get that reference). Our workout today was brutal. Our workout yesterday was brutal. The fact that summer just decided to show up here a few weeks ago makes it like Bikram CrossFit at the noon class. Hot, humid, Olympic lifts, sprints, pull-ups, and kettlebell work. Pretty sure I've used an entire bucket of chalk over the past few days.

Couple of exciting things related to exercise/nutrition:

On Saturday I participated in a team workout that involved 24" box jumps, 105# thrusters, rope climbs, and running with 25#. Two people were on a team, and while one person was doing the run with a sandbag across their shoulders (400m) the other person was working their way through 8 thrusters, 6 rope climbs (or 18 modified, which we did) and 11 24" box jumps. When partner #1 returns from run, they pick up where ever partner #2 is in the sequence. I ran first, and when I got back, my partner had made it to 12 modified rope climbs. So, I had 6 modified rope climbs to finish, and 11 box jumps. At 24". AKA the most 24" jumps I've ever had to do, and considering the first time I jumped on the 24" was 2 weeks ago...But I did it. I powered through the 11 box jumps and got through 1 thruster before my partner returned. Each time I came back from my run, my partner was on rope climbs, meaning I had to do all the box jumps! I performed a total of 51 box jumps over the course of the 31 minute workout. I only had to pick up the bar 3 times for a 105# thruster (holy crap). I was pretty damn excited that I never tripped up on the box, stuck with the 24" the whole time, and now my fear of that box is gone. It doesn't even look that high anymore! Next up- the 30" box. Now that one looks seriously high.

On Sunday I decided to take part in a challenge with some gym buddies- this is the same thing I did back in February, so if you are curious about how that went for me, you can check out my food/exercise log for February (started Feb 3?) and also peruse my posts from February. I loved the way I felt, loved having a strict routine (took the thinking out) and of course, being able to fit into jeans that I hadn't been able to for 5 years is always awesome. Right now, I'm feeling a little sluggish, as my body adjusts. I know from experience that in a few days I'll be feeling awesome.

Yesterday, we did a workout with pull-ups and I started with the (thinner) green band! This is huge progress for me. I was able to eek out my first set of 10 pull-ups on the green band, but then swiched to the thicker black band because my palms were so sweaty, I feared a disastrous mishap if my hands slipped. When I switched to the black band, it was ridiculous, as in, I can't believe not long ago I used to struggle with that band. I was flying over the bar like it was nothing. The sort of transformation my body needed I'm just now realizing takes (and is taking) an incredibly long time. But it is still happening, and that's why I still remain committed to what I started. The hardest thing for me so far in all my time at CrossFit is to stop comparing myself to others, and compare myself to me. When I do that, I'm much happier with the result.

Today we did a brutal workout- 3 rounds of:
8 step-ups holding 35# Kb in each hand (20" box, 4 each side)
20 mountain climbers (10 each side)
100m sprint
6 step-ups
20 mountain climbers
100m sprint
4 step-ups
20 mountain climbers
100m sprint
Rest 90sec

That was ONE round. Holy jesus. Have you ever tried stepping up onto something really tall while holding 70#???? I also noticed my right leg is stronger then my left, but that seemed to be a common theme with the rest of the class. I was the last person to finish this workout today, I felt like I was running on empty. Might be the current way I'm eating...the whole feeling sluggish thing.

Oh, and I know how much people like when bloggers post pictures, so here's a shot of my dog and his cock. Git yer minds outter tha gutter!

Friday, August 10, 2012

Mind F*&k

What a week its been.  When my life gets busy, coming here to detail my workouts and nutrient intake is the last thing on my mind.  The only way to describe how I feel right now is exhaustion, complete mental exhaustion.  I plan on crawling into bed immediately after informing all of you that my absence has not been filled with cake, brownies, and ice cream while watching the Olympics. 

Quick Review of the week:

Monday I hit 2 awesome PR's at the gym, a 225# back squat!!!!!  And a 95# military press (overhead, no legs)!!!!!  I was pretty excited about these, however, when trying for a deadlift PR, I was only able to get 235# off the ground, when a month ago I got 255# on a random day.  Found out a promotion I applied for would be interviewing a WHOLE lot sooner then I was expecting/wanting.  Had meeting after work in which got me thinking about some serious decisions I am long overdue in making.  Very stressful stuff- not blog worthy. 

Tuesday my interview for the position that would be a huge promotion was scheduled.  I proceeded to freak out internally and try to "study" as much as possible.  This stress coupled with stressful stuff from Monday made for lots of stress.  At the gym I worked on my power snatch skills, and found that I have a mean split snatch- might be my new favorite lift.  Fave trainer called me "old skool" in the best way possible. 

Wednesday's are always super busy at work due to a weekly conference call I lead.  The conference call prevents me from going to the gym during lunch.  I spent hours in evening studying for interview.  this position is a little bit of a reach for me, so in order to build some confidence, I was trying to cram as much new pertinent information into my brain as possible.

Thursday at the gym I jumped on the 24" scary box 5 times successfully.  I felt quite accomplished.  I spent more hours studying for the interview, and just basically gave into the fact that I was not going to be able to get anything done until interview was over.  I also received confirmation of my interview, and a list of attendees on the call. The list of attendees stressed me out.   

Friday-interview day!  Woke up super early, before my alarm, showered, put on a skirt and make-up, even though the interview was over the phone, I wanted to look/feel the part.  Spent all morning freaking out/trying to focus on key messages I wanted to convey.  Received text messages of encouragement from mom and the bf deluxe.  Had interview, did the best I could, and of course thought of a million good/better things to say AFTER.  Eased back into m normal life...went floating on a local spring fed lake after work, and spent some quality time with a friend who could give me some guidance on Monday's stress topic. 

Between the water and the events of the week, I want to crawl under a rock and stay for a month.  I want to know right now if I made it to the next round of interviews. I want to know what is going to happen in my life with ALL the unknowns right now.  NOW.  If only it worked that way...

I have no idea when it happened, but I am a grownup.  I'm no longer struggling to make the right decisions to prove how grownup I am.  I just am.  There are consquences for my actions.  I just do.  I can not always do what is best for the moment, I need to think about my future.  I just know.