All Good Things...

Recently it has dawned on me...no, dawned is not the right word...recently it has been freaking me out that this pregnancy is going to come to an end soon.  I never thought I would like being pregnant.  I just assumed it would be months of sickness, followed by months of getting larger, and ending with me being really awkward and uncomfortable until 'show time.'  I never gave much thought to the whole 'after' part of being pregnant, the part where you are in charge of an entire human and its well being.  Now that I realize the 'after' part is coming very quickly, I also realize that means my pregnancy is coming to an end, and I don't want it to! 

 

My wardrobe is so comfortable, I wear nothing but maxi-dresses, leggings, and jeans that have no buttons or zippers.  Sweets currently have no pull on me.  Fruit is like the best thing in the world.  I wake up smiling everyday.  I am so entertained by the little kicks and bumps inside my stomach, and even more entertained now that I can see them on the outside too.  Food tastes so good.  I've been able to keep up my regular gym/activity schedule with few modifications.  Strangers smile at me.  People are nicer to me in general.  I don't feel weird going to bed at 8:30p everynight.  My dreams are amazing.  My nails are the longest and strongest they've ever been.  My skin is clear and glowy.  I haven't had a need for a femine product in 7 months.  People share more information with me, and it has brought me closer to many friends.

 

I suppose there are a few things I miss- I haven't set foot into Banana Republic in 7 months.  I saw a girl on the street yesterday in a super cute outfit, and missed regular shopping.  Instead of missing my collarbone, I miss being able to see...um...something else.  I also miss striving for more in my workouts, currently I'm just trying to maintain my fitness.  I miss having goals, like getting a pull-up!  Fitness goals are hold for a little bit.   

 

All in all, that's a pretty short list of things to miss about non-pregnancy, however, my gym and my activities at the gym are so important to me, so I really am excited to get back to those in an uninhibited way.  I'm pretty confident that my desire to remain pregnant stems from fears I have about raising a little one.  Sure, I can joke about things that bother me as I did in yesterday's post, but in reality, a baby is so scary to me.

 

I've never changed a diaper.  I was never big on babysitting.  I'm the youngest.  Only recently (in the past 2 years) I've held a kid or two that can't hold its own head up.  What am I going to do when I have one of my own?!  I don't believe that it is all instinct.  There has to be some learning curve.  I'm sure I'll mess up, a lot.  So, yeah, you can say I'm freaking out.  However, I'm very lucky to have a few close friends that have taken this trip before me, and they have been an immense help.  They have been very open with their stories and lessons learned, and I know they will help me through any challenges I face. 

 

Enough of that for now.  I'm going to continue to rest stuff on my belly-shelf, feel like a goddess in my maxi dress, and smile at nothing.  Being pregnant is great.