Lately, this blog hasn't been working for me, as you might have guessed by the lack of action. Let me clarify what I mean by "working for me." When I started to write here back in December 2009, I had a broad goal of "health." Of course, this ideally meant weightloss, and wearing cute clothes, and being able to run races effortlessly, etc. I figured with a sort of public forum, I would be held more accountable for my actions. By typing things out, I figured I would have a record to go back and look through, and I would have support of an entire blogging community doing the same. That is exactly what I had when I started this, and it was working for me.
Until...it wasn't. I'm not sure when it occurred, or even if there was a specific time, but I started to get annoyed with other blog posts (bloggers I read religiously, and once got inspired from). I wasn't reading what I wanted or felt I needed to be reading. I began to get sarcastic and negative, and wish the bloggers with success start failing, and "predicted" the ones struggling would continue to struggle. This shift has absolutely nothing to do with the bloggers, as they are just doing what they have always been doing. The shift was inside of ME. I had the problem, and was projecting it out as I read through the posts.
It took me a few weeks of introspection to realize I can not continue to hope for others to inspire me, or spark me into writing a long, thoughtful post. I can not get mad at others for cheating and gaining a few pounds and then blogging about it. If I wanted a blog to inspire me, it had to be my own. I have to be the change I want to see.
Whoa, whoa, wait. Slow down a minute. Did I just type that out loud? I have to be the change I want to see? Well, that means I can't blame anyone for not achieving my goals. I can't blame anyone for the bowl of ice cream I had after dinner. I can't blame anyone for not giving it my all at the gym. These thoughts combined with the realization that I have been "paleo" for over a year now, and I haven't been practicing what I preach. How can I talk to new people that come into the gym about a Paleo diet, when I am not the most stellar example? I can't. Until I am.
Enter change. I'm going to make this blog work for me in the ways that its proven itself to be successful in the past. It does hold me accountable. It is a great place to keep data for me to go back and look through, and most of all, it does give me inspiration when I look back to some of my triumphant posts detailing new accomplishments. I know what I need to do, and now I just need to do it. So, in the next week or so, keep your eye out for changes to come. Just as we grow and evolve though life, this blog must evolve as well, or face extinction.