After yesterday's dinner (and associated dessert) I was conflicted as to what to do. I mean, I made it a whole 8 days without consuming anything that I consider "off limits." No grains, no sugar, nothing processed. I could just gloss over the fact that I had a few bites of cake, and move on. But that is not what I want for myself.
So, I consulted with the boyfriend deluxe. I asked him what he thought I should do. Before really understanding what my issue with sugar and grains is, he said you have to find some way to punish yourself. Punish myself? He wasn't getting it. So I explained that I feel that my issue with some foods (specifically sugar) is like anyone with an addiction. It's not just will power. There is more going on. When it finally clicked for him that I was 1) serious and 2) in need of real support, he said yes, I should come clean and start over.
And that's what I'm doing. And then it just made sense to use this tactic as a way to keep myself on track. This time, its not so bad. I only lost 8 days. Now, lets say I make it to day 50, or 200. Its going to have to take some miracle dessert to get me to start back at day one. Probably one of the best things about this great earth and time we live in is that nearly nothing that presents itself in the next 364 days can't wait to be had later.
That thought even crossed my mind last night as I was waiting for the dessert to show up and going back and forth in my head as to whether or not I was going to have a bite. "This restaurant will be here in a year, I can always come back." But instead, I chose to take a bite. And then another. And another. It was good, definitely not a careless choice, but if I had to do it all over again? I would have declined.