Practicing Re-entry

As events take place in my life that I feel are worthy of noting or blogging about, I find myself instantly forming blog posts in my head. Over the past 3 days, I have had what feels like 10 posts finger-ready. In short, I don't know where to begin since I didn't just take the time to write each post as I thought of it.

I do want to start out by saying last week was by far my least "Paleo" week since June 1st. I would say that up until last week, I was approximately 96% paleo. Last week? I would say I was 80%. Still not bad, by any means, but its very hard to wrap my head around going from 96% to 80% and not feeling like I wasn't cheating/failing/stuck in a rut.

All I wanted to do was eat, and for no apparent reason. I knew I was eating mindlessly...like as I ate an ENTIRE bag of Trader Joes dried mango for lunch one day. I knew I was full from the Chinese take-out that the boyfriend brought home, but I kept eating a few bites here and there because I had already f-ed up by eating as much as I did, and who knows when I'm going to eat this crap again, so I might as well make myself sick! I decided to send my cousin a care package with cute cupcakes not because I'm nice, but because I wanted to have a few licks of cake batter! WTF?!

Where had my lack of cravings gone? Where had my satiated feeling gone? Why was my nose running, and eyes watery? I was afraid to step on the scale and see the damage. I estimated I could have easily gained 4 pounds from my week of insanity. And then something changed. On Saturday I woke up, ate a good paleo bacon and avocado breakfast, and refused to stop moving until bed time. I worked in the yard, knocking mortar off free bricks we picked up on the side of the road. I then stacked 153 bricks into neat piles. I cleaned. I got all set to ride my bike a few miles down the road and get a pedicure, but then I got an invite to a friends house. I decided to ride my bike to their house instead.

This was pretty out of character for me. I normally reserved biking for planned exercise rides, or for taking care of necessary errands if the boyfriend had the car. Using a bike as a means to get around for other things? Odd, but really, something I should do MORE of. I knew I would be riding home in the dark, and dug around for my lights. I became so excited for this adventure. I think because I was pushing myself to do something out of the ordinary. When I returned home I felt amazing (and was hoping the two beers I had that night didn't mess up my already f-ed weigh in for the week. HA!)

On Sunday, I braved the scale. I actually weighed less than I did last Monday (after my wine/pizza/condo fire weekend). That inspired me to make the most of Sunday, hoping to have an even better weigh in on Monday (today). So again, I ate a good paleo breakfast. I got a pedicure. I went for a KICK-ASS run. For the first time in a long time, I experienced that "floating" feeling as I ran. Then, about 30 minutes after my run when I was sitting on the couch, I felt absolutely euphoric. I can't remember the last time I felt so good. I proceeded to make an incredible dinner...I had steak marinating for 24 hours that I cooked off, I caramelized some onions, and made fajitas. The kicker? I used tortillas. It was just the right thing to do, and I don't even feel bad about it, because seriously, that meal was the best thing I've ever tasted.

This morning I weighed in, and I was the same as Sunday. So, slightly less than last Monday, but slightly more than my low 2 weeks ago. It makes me very happy to know that I can have a week of 80% paleo and basically maintain. To me, that is practicing for when I'm done losing this weight, and need to be a little more flexible with my choices.

I do think that for me, eating paleo is going to be a forever choice. I may have to test that theory a few more times as I go along, but eventually I think I will get to a place where the ill-effects of eating grains, sugar, and dairy just aren't worth it. When I'm eating paleo and exercising, I like the way I feel, I like the way I look, and that is going to win over carbs, beer, cake batter, and tortillas MOST of the time and eventually, ALL of the time.