I realized yesterday after chatting with a few friends that I completely overlooked something important in all my excitement of 35 pounds lost. I'm back at a place I have been a few times before. I'm back at my previous old "high" weight. I have lost weight from this point at least 2 times before, most likely 3, because I don't know what my high weight was in college before I got down to my all time adult low. In a sense its almost comforting?
For awhile, when I was struggling at weights 20, 30, even 35 pounds higher than this, I can remember wanting nothing more than to be where I am now...because this is what I know. I know how to lose weight from here. What a change that thinking is from the very first time I saw this number on the scale!
In 2003 I had my annual doctor's appointment, and I stepped on the scale fully clothed, to see the number I'm at now. I was shocked, but immediately wrote it off as "my heavy clothes." I began running regularly again, eating less, and quickly dropped 15 pounds. Slowly the weight crept back on. In 2005, I found myself at this number again. Fortunately, I worked mornings at a gym and had a free membership. I enlisted a friend to help keep me on track, and we had a "health competition." Again, I lost 17 pounds quickly and was pretty happy. A series of routine-changing events (bought a condo far from my gym, got a chef boyfriend, got a desk job where food was what we sold...)aided in not only the 17 pounds coming back, but much, much, more.
2010, here I am again. I vow that this will be the last time I ever have to lose weight from this point. The difficulty of carrying that weight is fresh in my mind, and I want to document it in words so I can come back here when I need to get myself back in line. This place I'm at right now...although I was so excited to get here from 35 pounds ago, is not a final spot for me. I will be just as happy to see it go as I did to see it come.
The serenity I feel now through my new way of eating makes this time around much more enjoyable than before. I feel so much more in control, sustainable, knowledgeable, powerful. I can't wait for what new things lurk around the corner for me. I don't know what they are, but I can tell they are going to be good.