I've been staring at this blank compose screen for the last hour. My head is being pulled in so many directions, and none of them equate to a thoughtful or coherent post. I guess bloggers-block happens to everyone at some point. Normally when I can't think of anything to write, I just don't. Today is different, I feel like I have something to put out there, no, something is struggling to get out, but it keeps hitting resistance.
I think I may be panicking a bit over my non-loss last week. Thoughts of Paleo-doubt keep creeping in as phrases uttered by friends and family replay in my head. "Oh, there is always some new fad out there" "eating too much protein isn't good for women" "is that sustainable?" "why can't you eat this?" "are you still doing that caveman thing?" And then to have a zero loss on the scale...has the penny lost its shine?
Yesterday after putting in a 10 hour day at work, I was hungry. I knew I was stopping at the grocery store on the way home, but couldn't think of anything I wanted to make for dinner (frozen pizza was in the back of my mind). At the last second, "turkey tacos" popped into my head. I got excited for that, but knew I would need some sort of snack to hold me over. It thought to the left over pork chop I had in the fridge...I could eat a few bites of that while dinner is cooking. Then I passed a Larabar display...I was so excited to see after reading the ingredients that they are Paleo! I grabbed a cherry pie bar and apple pie bar. They have a lot of carbs due to the high fruit content, but in a pinch (rather than splurging on pizza) they will do.
I ate the cherry pie bar on the way home, and all thoughts of pizza were erased from my mind. I know what I am doing is working for me. Yes, I could go back to my old ways of giving myself every thing I "want" but I do not want to go back to struggling to put on my jeans. Yes, not that much was different when I was eating a mainstream American diet, I still had the same boyfriend, the same house, the same car, the same dog, the same family, the same friends, the same job, but I was constantly beating myself up for things I would eat. Yes, it has been 30 days, and I only promised to try this for 30 days, yet, it's really not that hard to just keep going...
And so I did. I am. Right now I'm vowing to keep up Paleo for another 30 days until July 31st. I may have a glass (or three) of red wine on the 4th of July, but I KNOW I deserve that. And I swear my jeans are even looser.