Day 1, Revisited

I started this blog because I was fed up. My whole life I've had ups and downs with my weight, but last December my body reached a size it had never previously been. This forced me to have two reactions: fear and motivation. Something took over in me, and I was just able...Able to wake up early before work and work out. Able to resist sugar/carb/too much food temptations. Able to focus on what I needed to do. Able to be perfect in my routine and choices.

Like any sane human being, this awesomeness began to fade. Slowly at first, with a few slip ups here and there. A few missed workouts, a few cookies after dinner. But for the most part, I was still going strong. Finding reasons to stay motivated and get back on track. I have A LOT of reasons to be motivated.

So, before I head any further down the road I've chosen so many times that leads straight to weight gain, I'm stopping. I'm turning on my heels right now, and heading--no, sprinting back to the awesomeness I know I am capable of.

I feel like crap today. I feel as if I'm hungover and a train hit me and I have the flu all at once. I know exactly why. Even better, I know this feeling that I have right now is my wake up call to REVISIT DAY ONE, and be stronger then this. Its going to take a few days for this feeling to leave me. But it will.

If I want this time to be different, I must do things that I have not done before. This...this path I'm headed down, I've been there before. I know all the turns, I know each tree and rock I pass, I know where I end up. So, here's the deal: I know what works for me, I know what makes my body perform well. When I'm in the routine of giving my body what it really needs, and not what my f-ed up head wants, it is easy to continue forever. Its only after a little bit of being good, I justify something my head wants, and get derailed. There will be no more of this. I must be 100% all the time. It sounds a little neurotic, even to me, but I know this is the only way. One slip up leads to another, and then...yeah.

Hello day 1, again.