Tuesday, December 28, 2010

One Year Anniversary

One year ago, I made a decision. I did a 180 on the unknown path of destruction I was headed down and began back tracking to familiar territory. I didn't want to wait till January 1st. I had enough wake-up calls in a short amount of time, and I needed to do something different. I was done with the half-assed attempts and excuses. I was done with lying to myself and others around me. I was done not living the life I KNOW I should be living.

One year ago, I did not know where I would be today. I'm sure I had some arbitrary number of pounds in which I wanted to weigh, or wanted to lose, because one year ago, that is what I thought meant everything. I took it one day at a time, because that is all I could manage. My main goals focused on running, and being able to run certain distances in certain times. I had always equated running with being in shape and being healthy.

One year ago, I didn't want any of my friends or family to be reading this blog because its embarrassing. I didn't want to be the token fat friend that has to struggle everyday to do the right thing. I just wanted to GET there...wherever there was. And somehow, magically, no one would notice and it would be like I was never 80 pounds overweight. I'm glad I got over that fast and shared this blog with friends and family because I think it strengthened many relationships. Oh, and its pretty much impossible to lose 40 pounds (let alone 80) and not have anyone notice- what was I thinking?

Today, I have a very different vision of where I want to be, and what is healthy to me. I know I still have weight to lose. While it may seem painstakingly slow, I really feel that dropping 40 pounds in one year has been sustainable, and a good pace for me. More importantly though, I want to trust my body. I will do my part of feeding it what it needs, and preforming functional movements, and I trust it will do its part of finding a shape/weight it likes. This is a big jump from having a number in my head and working towards that. I'm done with the numbers. I will still be weighing myself because it is a good overall indicator of what is going on, but I will not be giving any merit to the numbers.

Today, I'm ready to take my journey to the next level. I've proved to myself I can do this. I've made it one year and have learned so much. I know what fuel my body prefers. I have a solid exercise regimen. I'm going to pull it all together and see what happens.

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