I don't even know how to form the post I have swirling in my head into something readable, or understandable. In the past 9 months, my perspective has changed so much on food, exercise, weight, strength, health, and what I want for myself. I have a hard time reading the blogs I used to read everyday for support/ideas. Mostly because in the last 9 months I've learned that the whole eat less exercise more thing is bullshit.
I've learned that hormones, and nothing else is responsible for fat storage/fat loss on the body. I've learned that exercise has no effect on fat loss, and actually exercise burns lean muscle mass first, and makes you hungry. I've learned that in order to really get a handle on my cravings and my insane thoughts about food is to keep my insulin level as stable as possible (by eating foods that do not change insulin levels - protein and fat). I've learned that all the diseases of civilization are tied to spikes of blood sugar and the associated over-release of insulin. I've learned that I have an intolerance to gluten.
So you think with all this knowledge, I'd be losing fat like crazy, and making huge gains towards my fitness/strength goals. Well, its not that simple. I've spent the past 3 months stuck around the same 4 pound range because? I don't know why. I mean, I know why-I've been eating just enough crap to not get too crazy, and then eating how I should just long enough to make progress, only to eat more crap again. But I don't know why I keep holding myself back. Getting smaller is a mindfuck for sure. It takes time to process a new body. And I want to make sure this time, these methods that are all new information to me, stick.
This past week was the first week in three months that I was 100%. I was so good, and it reaffirmed what I already knew...I can do this. This is what I want to do, and this is how I want to do it. I'm done adjusting and convincing myself. I'm done researching. The weekly weigh-ins will be back. The progress pics will continue. I'm back.