Days one and two of my self-imposed 60 day challenge have gone over without a hitch. I feel better, mentally and physically. My eating has been spot on, thanks to shopping, planning, and the drive to be the best I can. I took measurements of my calves, thighs, hips, waist, forearms, and upper arms. It will be interesting to measure again in 58 days! I'm regretting not taking measurements at the start of this journey, but oh, well. We all know that late is better than never.
Yesterday's workout was HARD. I also realized that CrossFit couldn't be more tailored to what I need. First, a little about myself...if there is a shortcut, invariably I will ALWAYS take it (I know, shocking I'm overweight, right?). Example...if the trainers aren't watching me, I may not go as low into a push-up as I should. Don't get me wrong, I'm still working, however, I do tend to look for small ways for me to "conserve energy" for the beating I know is coming.
Now this little habit of mine really goes against the whole idea behind CrossFit. The CF philosophy is to go ALL OUT, ALL THE TIME. During warm-ups, during WOD's, anything. In my head, I'm thinking I'll warm up at 80% to save my body for the WOD, and then I'll be able to at least be somewhat competitive. And then during the WOD, I'll do my best, but for some reason I always have enough energy at the last round for a good push (meaning I really had been holding back something, whether consciously or not).
The good/bad news? THE TRAINERS ARE ON TO ME. Oh, yeah. They could see this personality in me a mile away. They have seen glimpses of what I'm capable of, and now hold me to it. They watch me all the time (do it again Violet, your squat wasn't low enough). This is a good thing. I NEED this. For now at least, I need someone pushing me every step of the way. Until I can ditch that stupid habit of conservation. I think its really more fear based then anything. Fear of the unknown...I'm not sure what would happen if I pushed myself 100% all the time, because I never have.
So, I'm hoping that I can hold the trainers interest in making me better. I know if I continue to push myself hard, and they see this, they will push harder. If they see that I keep looking for shortcuts all the time, they will lose interest because honestly, that is a shitty attitude. Nobody likes a shitty attitude. If I want to succeed in this, if I want to reach my goals, I must stop the shortcuts. Just like everything else I've done, its going to take time to re-learn, and there will be inevitable set-backs.
Side note- as part of yesterday's workout, we had to run with a 10# medicine ball. I have no idea how I used to run with 10 extra pounds on me, let alone 40!!! It makes me feel so much better that such a relatively small number of pounds lost (10) makes such a huge difference.