Not Alone

Before I get to my real post, I just want to say a few quick words about the 'Sh*t Moms Say to Their Pregnant Daughters' post. Thank you for all the comments. My mom is my mom, and I know she means well (in some twisted universe where its always opposite day) and I'm used to it. The post was meant to be funny, but I'm not sure it came across that way. I don't want to bash my mom, she is an amazing woman that has had a tough life, and accomplished so much. Luckily, I've got plenty of smartz running through my head that I can see her comments for what they are- her issue(s) and not internalize them anymore. Now, I just like to share them with people for their sheer ridiculousness, oh, and also to remind myself of what NOT to do in the next coming years.


...Sunday we were invited to a Cinco de Mayo party/BBQ. It was an AMAZING day in Seattle, upper 70's, light breeze, just a perfect day. The hubs got home from work around 3:30p, and we headed over around 5pm. It was a BBQ held by friends/co-workers of my husband. Being a Sunday night, and also me being an 'outsider' non-co-worker I didn't plan on staying super late. I ate my bun-less burger and grazed on some raw veggies. We brought our dog, so watching him gave me plenty to do as he made his begging rounds and I yelled at him to quit it. There is nothing more annoying than a dog owner that thinks everyone else feels the same way about their dog as they do. No one likes a dog begging while they eat, even the cutest dog on the planet. I digress.

Many of the hubs co-workers came over to wish us congratulations, and ask us all the typical questions. I was enjoying myself, but noticed the party was slowly starting to get more drunk, and the daylight was quickly fading. I asked the hubs what time it was, and he said "just about 9p." "Crap. I gotta go." I said. The hubs wanted to stay longer since he didn't work the next day, and would take a cab home later. I grabbed the dog, said bye to the few people I knew, and headed home. The BBQ was really close to our house, only one freeway exit away. I hopped on the I-5, with the last rays of light on the horizon and the top of the sky starting to darken. The windows in the car were down, and the air smelled so clean. Just as I approached my exit, I felt something. A slight twitch or like a little bubble popping in my stomach. I knew exactly what it was.

Immediately everything was so clear. I didn't just know I wasn't alone, I felt I wasn't alone. I mean, so many times in my life I have been driving to my house, by myself, comfortable with being alone, and this time it was different. My future flashed before my eyes and I knew that I would never be truly alone again. This thing, this bubble, was going to be a part of me for the rest of my life. I was in awe and oddly comforted at that moment as I let it all sink in. Just when I thought I might have been imagining things, almost as if on queue, I felt another little tap inside my belly. Yup. Not alone.