Monday, April 22, 2013

Feisty

In my last post, I touched on the subject of wanting a natural, unmedicated birth. I do want to clear up some possible confusion- just because that is the birth that I want, it doesn't mean that is the birth I'm going to get, nor does that mean that is the only birth I'll be happy with. I understand things happen. I understand that as soon as you make a plan, the universe laughs at you. The most important thing is that we have a healthy baby, and that I survive the experience well enough to care for a newborn. Bottom line.

To clarify, my ideal situation is to have a natural birth. There are some steps I have taken towards this path, such as choosing a midwife instead of going with my OB/GYN and expressing interest in a birthing center rather than a hospital. A lot of the other factors that come into play in whether or not I have an unmedicated birth are yet to be determined. The best thing I can do for myself is to eat nutrious foods, exercise, sleep well, and listen to my body. That way, I know I will have done everything in my power to get the birth that I want. Everything else will just happen the way its supposed to happen.

Moving on, I think its been awhile since I've listed some pet peeves. Maybe its just because I'm pregnant right now and feeling whaleish, but #1 on my current list is "Boudoir Photos." I keep seeing these crop up on various blogs, and in my Facebook feed from friends who have done them "and its so empowering!" Gag. Look, let me tell you something. The last thing your husband/fiance/boyfriend/whatever wants is half naked pictures of you making duck face thinking its sexy. You know why? They already have you. They get to see you naked all the time. WTF are they going to do with pictures of you? I'll tell you what they're NOT going to do with them. They are not going to stash them in their underwear drawer and pull them out when they miss you to engage in some "me" time if you get what I mean. There is a WHOLE internet full of women they haven't seen naked yet that will do the trick. Another thing? They aren't going to be showing them to their friends. So, back to my original point. Why would they want that, and what are they going to do with them after looking at them once? Exactly. However, if you blog about your "Boudoir" session and tell me that you just took the pictures so you could look at yourself in print over and over and picture that is how you look everytime you're with your sig-other, that's something I can believe. Or if you are delusional enough to believe that your husband pulls those out to look at when he wants some five-finger action, go on ahead. Be empowered, you are so naughty!

#2 on current pet peeve list- heartburn. WTF is up with pregnancy heartburn? Ok, so extra progresterone makes my esophageal sphincter (chuckle) relax or whatever. It sucks. I'm over it.

And...lastly, #3. Painting your ring finger a different nail color/pattern whatever. I don't know how or why that started, but its annoying. Just stop.



6 comments:

  1. LOL; you said "sphincter"!

    If I were to do a "boudoir" photo session, it'd be completely nude and it would be so I could look at the photos myself and go, "Damn, Norma; that photoshop is the greatest thing everrrr!" Josh and I actually have considered doing a, ahem, couples boudoir photo shoot, if you catch my drift...with action shots and such. I'd probably save up money and have those put on a billboard in the town where his ex lives... ;)

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  2. Didn't know about the boudoir photo trend - thought that had died with with 90s, hahaha! Not something I am ever going to participate in.

    I have a lot of weird little hangups that get me pretty irritated, and I'm not even pregnant!! (there's this whistling produce worker at my supermarket whose lips I wanna rip off!)

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  3. I'm so sorry for the heartburn. I remember it well. Some nights it was so bad that I'd cry over it. :(

    I wish you the best of luck, but I can honestly say that the baby causing all the grief is TOTALLY worth it. No one told me that, but when they put those puppies into my arms...man...the memories of heartburn disappeared.

    As for the natural birth: Go for it! Your body was designed to do it. If you get there and feel like you can do it then GO FOR IT. You'll make me one proud woman to do what you're designed to do. I love when women are strong enough to tackle birth naturally.

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  4. OMG Boudoir photos all I can think of is George Constanza in that episode of Seinfeld on the couch...LOL

    The Glamour shots from 100 years ago when they show up on facebook, and these women are wearing feather boas. Like really? God this post cracked me up!

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  5. I don't get the boudoir photo trend either. I've seen some really disturbing ones.
    Hope your heartburn eases up soon.

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