Saturday, June 2, 2012

Divine Anti-Cupcake Intervention

I may or may not have just consumed a 1/2 pound of pancetta.  That has nothing to do with this post, but I just had to get that out there.  I also have 69 followers.  What what!!  Ok...again, that has nothing to do with this post.   

Last week when I was flying home from the East Coast, I had a 2.5 hour layover in Newark.  Blah.  It was 90 degrees out, and I had to leave Terminal A to catch a shuttle to Terminal C.  The shuttle was packed, it was HOT, and I know for a fact my deodorant was not working.  When I got to Terminal C (after hauling my luggage up 2 flights of outside stairs in 90 degrees- thank god for CrossFit!) I had to walk at least 3/4 of a mile to my gate at the very end of some segment of the gargantuan terminal.  I just wanted to find my gate and finish up Fifity Shades of Grey, I had 25 pages left.  On my 3/4 mile hike, I noticed many food places, but one place caught my eye and proceeded to ping the back of my brain all the way to my gate, all the way through the last pages of Fifty Shades, continued after I got a quick bite to eat, and even still, as I had well over an hour until my flight boarded. 

I zipped Fifty Shades into my roller bag carry on, and having just consumed a delicious burger and yam fries, I decided to hit up the bookstore I passed to get the second book in the series- Fifty Shades Darker.  The place I passed 1/2 mile back was still nagging in my head.  I bought my book and then made a quick rash decision to head back towards the beckoning. 

Crumbs.  I've read about this place on a certain "weightloss" blog as being a serious downfall for her.  Cupcakes are a huge weakness of mine, but for the most part I can avoid them with no issues.  But I was on the East Coast, the closest I'll ever be to this famed place, and it just happened to be by my gate.  I was drawn in by the fancy french looking font, and when I reached the counter, I was blown away.  There were no less than 50 different kinds of cupcakes splayed out before me.  How could I ever choose?  I decided I would get 2, one for me, one for the BF deluxe.  I made my selection, paid at the counter, grabbed some napkins and a fork from the condiment bar, grabbed my bag with the perfectly packaged treats and headed back to my gate. 

As I was walking to my gate, I was struck with a WTF?  I didn't want a cupcake, it was just going to make me feel like crap.  Some habits (feeling the need to get something because who knows when I can get it again) die hard.  I sat down in a chair and began into the second book, without giving the cupcakes a second thought.  They were now a gift for the bf deluxe, and I might try a bite of each when he eats them, but there was no way in hell I was going to dig into that plastic container and begin eating forkfulls of an enormous cupcake by myself at my gate.  No way.

Things were getting heated between Christian and Ana (FSD) and all of a sudden I hear my name being paged over the loud speaker of the airport:  "V. B.  please come to blahbitty blah blah to claim a lost item."  Shit.  I jumped up and started walking.  Where did they say to go?  I forgot.  Fuck.  I walked to a gate agent and told them I was just paged, and they asked me where it said to go.  "I don't remember."  The large man says "um, well, I can't help you, but if you go to that phone over there, they should be able to repeat the page."  I pick up the phone and ask to have the page repeated.  Nothing. 

It was at that moment that I realized two things.  I had 15 minutes until I boarded, and I was missing my wallet.  Double eff.   I had a considerable amount of money in my wallet, a new credit card (my first ever) that I haven't even used, and stamps, license....I started to panic.  My already not working deodorant began not working in overdrive.  I knew exactly where I could have left my wallet.  Crumbs.  I was so distracted by the fact I was about to get a cupcake, I spaced and left my wallet on the counter.  I walked the 1/2 mile back there as quick as possible.  Sweating profusely and smelling awesome, I walk up to the counter cutting off others in line and say "I think I left my wallet here."  The woman pulls out my wallet, and I'm SO relived.  Without a proper thank you, I quickly grabbed it as she says "we gave your ID to those guys over there since we didn't want to give them your wallet.  They paged you."  I had 5 minutes till boarding.  I went over, waited in a 2 minute line, got my ID back, quickly checked and saw ALL my money was there, and hoofed it back to my gate. 

I arrived just as they were calling my boarding group (group 6 of 7) and I plopped down in my seat, thinking to myself how if I had never made that stupid trip to get a cupcake I didn't even want, the whole drama of the past 20 minutes could have been avoided!  It was not meant to be.  Divine anti-cupcake intervention.  

1 comment:

  1. That's an awesome story!!! :) Oh, the Amtrak wouldn't know what to make of it... ;)