Friday, October 26, 2012

Nuthin' But Crickets

Ok, so I guess no one has any questions for me...Fine. :)

Winter has officially arrived here. With our beyond goregous summer, I was hoping for a few weeks of beautiful fall. We maybe had a day or two of fall? Smack into winter. Complete with the super short days, temps in the 40's and grey skies. I'm hoping when we set our clocks back, we will get a few weeks of relief. Whining over.

Possibly in conjunction with the instant weather change, yesterday I talked myself out of going to my normal noon-time CrossFit session. In the 2 years I've been doing CrossFit, I've NEVER talked myself out of going. Clearly something was amiss. I looked at the posted workout, and said eff THAT. It was a 300rep chipper, and I just wasn't feeling it. Weird, right? Usually I see a ridiculous workout, and I can't wait to get in and do it just to say that I did. Plus, going at lunch provides me a much needed mental break from the office. Instead, I just worked through lunch and left early.

So when 11:30a rolled around today, can you guess what happened? I started to talk myself out of going to the gym again. I almost had myself convinced when I snapped out of it and realized I was being ridiculous. Yesterday's decision was making it all to easy to attempt to skip today. Instead of just being lazy, I dug a little deeper and before too long, I found the culprit.

I was suffering from a lack of confidence. See, I haven't really been feeling on top of my game lately, and some of the recent workouts have hit me hard. Last week, during a box jump workout, I landed on a box and scraped the sh*t out of my shin, then the following day, we had a workout where we did 10 rounds of 3 ground to overheads (95# was recommended weight for girls), and after the 3rd power snatch (or ground to overhead of your choice) 15 wall balls (14#). First off, for the life of me, I could not get my 95# snatch. I can do 85# all day. Throw 10 more pounds on there, and I freeze. Its mental, I know it is. Coach tried all the tricks in her book. Nothing. So, I chose 85# as my ground to overhead weight. The wall balls killed me. The whole workout killed me. It took me 10 minutes longer than anyone else to finish, no one else was using as heavy of weight for either the ground to overhead or wall ball, but STILL...10 minutes longer than anyone.

This week I was determined to shake it off and get into the groove again, but I was derailed on Tuesday by 5 rep max deadlift day. I love deadlift day! I looked up my previous 5 rep max ( 205#) and decided I wanted to hit 225#. Then, on FB one of my gym buddies posted how she PR'd and hit 255# for 5!!!! I felt a lot of pressure, and decided I wouldn't be happy unless I hit 235# for 5. I ended up getting 215#. While it was still a 10# PR for me, I felt defeated. I mean, this other girl hasn't been CrossFitting as long as me, and yet she keeps making huge gains. What gives? I began to violate my first rule of success. Don't compare yourself to others. Only compare yourself to you.

Once I realized this was the root of my hesitance today, I changed into my gym clothes, downed some BCAA's and of course, knew I wasn't going to regret going. You know what I did today? A 95# snatch. 3 times!!! My first time ever getting a 95# snatch. Don't get me wrong, it was not pretty. But I knew I could do it, and now I can move on with that number under my belt. It will get easier. Then one day I'll get into the triple digits. Perhaps yesterday was a mental break I needed. After our Olympic lifting session (which was a pretty solid workout in itself) we did 3 rounds of 4 minuteTabata's, each round was alternating between 2 exercises AKA, my favorite thing in the world. You are moving so fast for such a short time, and you are alternating exercises, its TOO SHORT TO SUCK (TWSS?). I love it. And, I love how drenched in sweat I get for only 12 minutes of work. Now, all is right in the world.

1 comment:

  1. I hear ya on this!!

    Back in August & September, I was really struggling with my snatch. I skipped my first ever WOD because 'I just didn't want too.' WTF. That's not cool. It was/is definitely a confidence issue, just like you.

    I also can relate (as any CrossFitter can) about how mentally draining it can be to be the last person done even though we all know it doesn't matter. Like you, I'm really trying to get my pull up. So sometimes in workouts, I will use our green band - which is mid range band. When I see people using the purple (easy) and flying through the WOD, it pisses me off!! I know the comparisons do nothing productice blah blah blah. We are still human. Sometimes insecure little humans.

    I've also learned to love the deadlift! Last I tested, it was @ 185. I'm jealous of anyone who can do 200+, especially when newer people come in and kick my ass in the strength department. It's frustrating.

    Thankfully, these annoying 'in your head' moments at CrossFit are few & far between. It's nice to read about your CrossFit experience!

    Oh and I have a question - did you or have you done any CF competitions?

    PS - Congrats on the PR. I'm happy (not jealous) for you!!