Friday, August 30, 2013

9 Months....

Here we are, the last week of August, Labor Day holiday around the corner.  I expected to be rather uncomfortable at this point in my pregnancy, but really, I'm not.  I don't feel particularly achy or so ready to give birth as I feel so many people claim near the end.  Fatigue has returned for sure.  I'm slow moving, waddling, and my belly juts out in a ridiculous fashion in front of me.  It's a struggle to motivate to get to the gym.  I feel great when I'm there, but getting there is so hard.  Also, its been SO HUMID.  I can't stop sweating or being hot for the life of me.  It's so strange.  Normally I'm cold all the time. This week marks the start of weekly mid-wife appointments.  The count down has begun, that is for sure. 
We had our first official doula meeting last Thursday, and that was amazing.  How could it not be?  I got a foot massage, back massage, and in general the whole appointment was about finding ways to make me relax and then having my husband and doula practice those on me.  It was heavenly.  We discussed my wishes for birth, both in a birth center and in a hospital setting.  I also need to make sure my husband is well informed on what I want because I may not be in the best mindset to be making clear decisions. 
This week is all about getting the little things crossed off my list- finding a pediatrician, packing my birth suitcase, making sure we have labor friendly snacks in the house to take with us, getting a diaper bag, getting a nursing bra, installing the car seat, and finishing a few things in the baby room.  Really it's not that much to do!  Once I get all these little details out of the way, I plan on getting some yarn and spending the rest of the wait knitting cute hats.  Knitting is distracting, relaxing, and productive.  I feel like it would be a good thing for the last weeks of me time.   
I had a nice follow up discussion with my midwife regarding my giganto baby.  She was so blase this time!  It was great, and exactly how I needed her to be.  I think the last appointment was just more of a cover her a** sort of thing- probably required by the state. 
This past week also brought some major ups and downs with other areas of my life, and I think slowly everything is starting to fall into place for me to be relaxed and focused on having a baby and taking care of a baby.  I'm grateful to have wonderful family and friends to support me, and most of all, my husband.  He is such a big help and more often than not, my biggest fan.  Take for example last night.  It was 8pm, and I NEEDED to get the baby room finished.   As we were sprawled out on the tile floor in the baby room, it was 67 degrees and like 200% humidty, we assembled a twin bed that came in the mail from Amazon with 300 steps like a team.  There was no place I would have rather been, and it washed my week of disappointment away. 

Wednesday, August 21, 2013


About 4 weeks ago, at one of my routine midwife appointments, my midwife started hinting around about me having a large baby.  She said measuring fundal height on "larger" individuals isn't very accurate, and therefore they like to obtain other data.  She went on to say that she would like me to get an ultrasound at 31 weeks, and another at 36 weeks.  This annoyed me.  I didn't plan on any ultrasounds past 20 weeks, and its been shown numerous times that ultrasounds that late in pregnancy are not accurate for determining size.  So, why was I being ordered an ultrasound?!
I dutifully scheduled my 31 week u/s, and during the u/s found out that according to their measurements, baby was measuring 2 weeks ahead, and in the 95% percentile.  Ok.  So?  If, (and that's a big if) the measurement was accurate, there could still be several factors involved.  First, my husband is a 7 foot tall freak of genetic nature.  Second, maybe my due date is off.  But, most likely, the ultrasound is off. 
At my next midwife appointment last week where we discussed the results of the u/s, my midwife still seemed to think the size of my baby is a big deal.  She told me she was obligated to discuss C-section and offer me one if that's the route I wanted to take (really?  This discussion at 34 weeks?  Before I'd even tried?)  She felt around my stomach and thought at 34 weeks my baby was already 7lbs.  WHAT?!  I know she is a professional and all, and I've never been pregnant before, but I was like "there is no way my baby is 7lbs yet."  Sure, my belly has reached epic proportions.  I'm 34 (now 35) weeks pregnant!  I could give birth anywhere in the next 2-5 weeks.  Of course I'm huge.  So she had me schedule a 36 week u/s.  I left the appointment slightly irritated. 
Why, why, why, would anyone in the OB/midwife field tell a woman that they think she is having a huge baby.  I mean, even if that were true, and there was a way to know exactly for sure how big a baby is in-utero (there isn't by they way, but let's pretend) that is not something you should put into a mom to be's head.  Let her body do what it's going to do.  Just the idea that a woman is home to a "larger" baby might make the difference in labor between giving it a good try and having an unecessary C-section.  (disclaimer- there is nothing wrong with an individual choosing a c-section.  What I have a problem with is the high number of uneccesary c-sections that are performed in the U.S.  Personally, I'd like to use the opening I have, and not create any new ones with major surgery. That's just me, I definitely don't look down on people that have had them, just the doctors who are too quick to choose that route.  K?)
The whole reason why I was so set on getting care from a midwife is because I never wanted to be scared into things that had no basis.  I didn't want to get talked into induction if I went past 40 weeks.  I didn't want to get talked into excessive testing.  And I certainly didn't want to get talked into a C-section due to "suspected large baby."  So I peppered my midwife with questions: "will there be a time in labor when its obvious my baby is too big for my frame?"  Yes.  "if I'm eating too many calories for my needs, does that mean the baby packs on extra weight as well?"  No.  "aren't late ultrasounds notoriously inaccurate at predicting size?"  Yes.  "I could just deliver earlier, right?"  Yes.   
It was like an exercise in futility.  What was the big "worry?"  If there is no real way to tell exactly how big my baby is until it comes out and is placed on a scale, WHY ARE WE EVEN TALKING ABOUT THIS?  Just to give me something to stress about for the next 4 weeks?  Just to give my insurance something extra to bill?  True macrosomia (baby larger than 8lbs 13oz) isn't diagnosed until after a baby is born.  It also only affects about 9% of babies. 
My plan is to continue doing what I'm doing and let my body do what it is going to do.  I trust my body.  I HAVE to trust my body in order to ensure nothing happens to it that I don't want or don't need- this is true during pregnancy and during non-pregnancy.  I just have to wait and see what is in store for me (us). 

Thursday, August 8, 2013

8 months...

Somehow I skipped my "7 months..." pregnant post.  Last month flew by faster than any month ever has in my life.  I did have a few entries last month, so those will have to suffice as my data for month seven.  Each week last month was filled with appointments, work travel, social obligations, emergency repairs to a condo that I may own for maybe one more month (yeah, my luck), and my regular life stuff- job, gym, house upkeep, etc.  I was hoping for a little reprieve this month, but seeing as it is already the 8th, and I haven't caught my breath yet, I don't see that happening. 
In some ways the non-stop activity is nice, it's bringing me closer and closer to my due date without me having time to think about that, or stress about it, but at the same time, it's bringing me closer to my due date without me having time to think!  There isn't too much left to do in terms of getting ready for baby.  I have a short list on my iPhone of things to do before baby.  Someone once told me to make sure I don't complete that list until I'm really ready, because its like your body knows once the last item is crossed off. 
For the most part I'm still feeling good.  I've graduated to sitting more hours at work, and on a yoga ball.  Luckily for me, my desk adjusts between sitting and standing positions, so I can have some variety in the day.  I get tired of sitting.  I get tired of standing.  I'm still sleeping ok, but rolling over in the night is a task!  For whatever reason, that is the most painful time for me, and dread rolling over to my other side, but when I'm on one side for too long, my hip gets achy.  I've severely cut back on the amount of food I eat at dinner, and sometimes if my lunch was big enough skip dinner altogether because this makes for a more comfortable night.  The baby seems to prefer me sleeping on my left side versus my right.  This baby is already trying to control me!
As far as dressing the bump goes, I think this sums it up well:
Sorry if it doesn't link, but its worth the copy and paste.  Whoever wrote that has clearly been following my pregnancy dressing to the T.  I'm still delusional thinking everything will return to somewhat normal asap post-baby...I fully know this is not the case- don't burst my bubble. 
Last night the hubby and I took a 'Newborn Care' class.  I believe about 20 minutes into the class when I looked over at the hubby craddling a plastic doll, sh*t got real.  Yes, I know I'm pregnant.  Yes, I know being pregnant eventually means I will have a baby.  But, ever since finding out, I've been really struggling with the reality that is a baby when this is all over.  Sure, we've got the crib, the stroller, the clothes, etc.  But somehow I haven't mentally connected that to "baby" yet.  I have no idea what it's going to be like to have to hold something all the time, think about something all the time, be careful with something all the time, and not get any sleep in the process.  I sort of got a glimpse of that in class last night, just having to hold a doll for an hour (I think at one point I was holding it upside down by one leg, and Dave gave me a look, so I returned to holding it like it was alive).  Then hearing about SIDS, infant bathing (watch out for cord stump? What?), swaddling, diapering, all became very real.  We are going to have a baby.   
Coming up on Saturday is 'Labor' class, I'm sure that will also bring about more realities.  It does feel good to be slowly checking these items off, even if I never end up using any labor techniques presented in the class, or suggestions from the newborn class.  They create the illusion of doing SOMETHING to prepare.  Feeling like I'm doing something to prepare for something that is unpreparble for gives me slight peace of mind?
It is so hard to believe that in just 4 short, activity filled weeks (more work travel, appointments, social stuff, etc.) I will be full term.  I'm a little cautious towards giving my due date any recognition, because 5% of women deliver on their due date.  Basically, now I have anywhere from 4-8 weeks until I could possibly give birth (at full term).  That's a helluva window.  Baby will come when baby is ready!