Recently it has dawned on me...no, dawned is not the right word...recently it has been freaking me out that this pregnancy is going to come to an end soon. I never thought I would like being pregnant. I just assumed it would be months of sickness, followed by months of getting larger, and ending with me being really awkward and uncomfortable until 'show time.' I never gave much thought to the whole 'after' part of being pregnant, the part where you are in charge of an entire human and its well being. Now that I realize the 'after' part is coming very quickly, I also realize that means my pregnancy is coming to an end, and I don't want it to!
My wardrobe is so comfortable, I wear nothing but maxi-dresses, leggings, and jeans that have no buttons or zippers. Sweets currently have no pull on me. Fruit is like the best thing in the world. I wake up smiling everyday. I am so entertained by the little kicks and bumps inside my stomach, and even more entertained now that I can see them on the outside too. Food tastes so good. I've been able to keep up my regular gym/activity schedule with few modifications. Strangers smile at me. People are nicer to me in general. I don't feel weird going to bed at 8:30p everynight. My dreams are amazing. My nails are the longest and strongest they've ever been. My skin is clear and glowy. I haven't had a need for a femine product in 7 months. People share more information with me, and it has brought me closer to many friends.
I suppose there are a few things I miss- I haven't set foot into Banana Republic in 7 months. I saw a girl on the street yesterday in a super cute outfit, and missed regular shopping. Instead of missing my collarbone, I miss being able to see...um...something else. I also miss striving for more in my workouts, currently I'm just trying to maintain my fitness. I miss having goals, like getting a pull-up! Fitness goals are hold for a little bit.
All in all, that's a pretty short list of things to miss about non-pregnancy, however, my gym and my activities at the gym are so important to me, so I really am excited to get back to those in an uninhibited way. I'm pretty confident that my desire to remain pregnant stems from fears I have about raising a little one. Sure, I can joke about things that bother me as I did in yesterday's post, but in reality, a baby is so scary to me.
I've never changed a diaper. I was never big on babysitting. I'm the youngest. Only recently (in the past 2 years) I've held a kid or two that can't hold its own head up. What am I going to do when I have one of my own?! I don't believe that it is all instinct. There has to be some learning curve. I'm sure I'll mess up, a lot. So, yeah, you can say I'm freaking out. However, I'm very lucky to have a few close friends that have taken this trip before me, and they have been an immense help. They have been very open with their stories and lessons learned, and I know they will help me through any challenges I face.
Enough of that for now. I'm going to continue to rest stuff on my belly-shelf, feel like a goddess in my maxi dress, and smile at nothing. Being pregnant is great.